So long "Friend"

So I've had this friend in my life, their name is "Finding security in how smart I am", Yes a long name I know. They have been a very close companion over the years and I have been crushed, built up, encouraged, discouraged, and rejuvenated by this dear friend. I didn't realize how close we were until I got my Math grade back for my first test of the semester. I knew immediately that this friend of mine has been too close. I cried. I screams. I got angry. (All foolishness).

I think now I see this is no friend at all but an enemy that has determined many decisions in my life. I don't want to find my security in how smart I am. I want to be free of this! I don't want this "friend" to determine my mood from day to day.

I remember when I was little I would pray and ask God to make me smart, I didn't care if I was ugly, fat, or had bad breath, just as long as I was smart.

I think God is saying "enough", He knows I will never be satisfied if I find my identity in my intelligence, he wants me to be satisfied, so he's leading me away from this foolishness. I am thankful, but it is hurting really bad. I didn't realize how close I was to this dear friend of mine.

I know I have a long way to go, but at least now I am aware of this and can take the steps to change.

Goodbye friend, hello freedom!