Fortress when I'm weak

I keep telling myself to be brave, to be of good courage and cling to God who can save.  "Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God."-Ps. 42:5

I want to be able to pray hard enough, long enough so that things will change, I want to work hard enough, do enough so that things will change.  I want to be able to make things happen by the actions of my own hands. To take control of the situation and MAKE things work out for what I see is best.  But the irony in all this is that if I was able to pray long enough, work hard enough, do enough to change this situation, then I would also have to work for my salvation, which is free. I would have to work for grace and mercy and that is a scary thought, because I can only make it through each day because of God's mercy and grace.  So I will trust. I will rely on my sovereign God who says he will never leave me, he never forsake me.  He is greater than anything or anyone in this world, he has my best interests in mind. He takes me by the hand and guides me even when understanding is far from me. He says that he works out all things for my good. He says that he will give me peace that transcends all understanding. He hasn't given up on me. He is my strength.